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The Heroin Diaries: A year in the life of a shattered rockstar

With the 10 year anniversary of Nikki Sixx’s, The Heroin Diaries, novel and accompanying CD, I figured this would be as good a time as any to review one of my favorite books by one of my favorite artists.

For some background: for those of you who don’t know who Nikki Sixx is, he put together and remained in an 80’s rock band, Motley Crue. As a lot of people in the music industry at that time, he partied, battled with addiction, and played music. The Heroin Diaries is his own personal work, chronicling a year in the life of himself, making music and battling addiction.

Now to this book:

What makes this novel so appealing is the startling reality it showcases involving drugs. Sixx writes over the course of a year of the parties he attends, the music he plays, the evolution of his band, their issues, his own issues, and his drug use. As opposed to other novels about drug use, this is an actual journal. Meaning, it is a first hand account of what was going on in his life, not an autobiography written years later when he was clean. A major point to this book is showcasing the grittiness and harsh reality of a life on drugs.

He speaks about the relationships he ruined, the failed rehab attempts, the hallucinations, and the times he died (he was pronounced dead twice). He speaks about the loneliness and fame, and his intense love for heroin. As we know, heroin is a huge epidemic in today’s society, this novel does an incredible job of showing the addictive qualities and problems that arise with drugs.

Now to the CD:

Nikki Sixx had originally planned to create an album to accompany this book and so, Sixx A.M. was born. Nikki Sixx put this band together with DJ Ashba and James Michael to create an album that correlates with the novel. It’s best to listen to the album after you read the book, the songs play in progression with the novel. One particular song that stands out as one of my favorites is “Girl with Golden Eyes”. This song relates to his feelings about using heroin, his attempts to get clean, and his relapse. With a very mellow instrumental, it is super easy to listen to and focus on the message behind the song. In the middle of the song, Sixx speaks on the track (the speaking is an excerpt from the book) about his attempt to get clean and the struggles he deals with while taking methadone to wean himself off of heroin.

Fun fact: because fans had such an amazing response to Sixx A.M. they continued to create songs together. They now have 5 albums in total:

-The Heroin Diaries- released in 2007.

-This is Gonna Hurt- a follow up to The Heroin Diaries, released in 2011

-Modern Vintage- a new sound for Sixx A.M. released in 2014

-Prayers for the Damned, Vol 1.- the first part of a double feature album, released in April 2016.

-Prayers for the Blessed, Vol 2- the second part of their double feature album, released in November 2016.

So go get the book, go get the album(s) (fall in love with the rest of their music) and lose yourself for a few hours. Incredibly written, incredibly powerful and eye-opening. Enjoy.

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Complications

I dated someone once

who looked at the world through cynical, sarcastic eyes,

except when he looked at me.

He looked at me with these eyes that

read my mind,

interrupted my thoughts,

invaded my privacy.

He took candid pictures, snapshots of the way I looked at things,

“you’re the prettiest when you’re calm”.

And that was the problem.

 

 

Unspoken

Her hands tremble above the keyboard,

words that will never make sound pour out,

tears streaming down cheeks,

the dam is breaking…

Blank spaces filled with words that will never be heard,

destined to remain silent

forever.

Buried deep down like the

dark secrets you try so hard to cover up.

No amount of dirt, will hide the truth.

Fear in her eyes, courage in her heart,

watching her soul empty out onto the screen,

uncovering all the lies

she’s been fed.

Blown Away

Typically, I try to post content here that is interesting and doesn’t sound preachy. However, this is a different kind of content. Too long for a Facebook post and too uninteresting to be an article.

Almost 2 years ago I started my writing journey with Odyssey as a creator and social media director. As a child, I wanted to be a writer. I would write about anything and everything, make up stories for my family, write for myself, etc.

Yesterday, I found out that over the course of my time with Odyssey, my work has been viewed over 9500 times…which isn’t a lot compared to other writers but to me, it makes all the difference. I’m completely blown away that people read my work, take the time to share it with other people, and leave me feedback or just an encouraging comment or two. It’s truly appreciated and something that I never would have imagined for myself.

While writing will always be a passion of mine, it’s never been something that I wanted to do professionally. It’s too difficult to meet deadlines all the time and create very specific content for specific reasons. However, between being more open about my creative writing on line and publishing through the Odyssey, there is a very decent possibility that at some point in my life, I would like to be a published author.

Regardless, none of this would be possible without the people who take the time to pay attention to my writing and support it. It’s been an amazing feeling to know that people are not only interested in what I’m writing but have also been inspired by it.

And that’s that. So thank you!

Praying

Your prayers are best sung

on your knees

in front of a God that may or may not exist.

Confessing

your deepest secrets to a face,

hidden behind a screen.

Your prayers are

folded hands, bowed heads,

save me.

My prayers are best sung

in the words I write,

locked away on paper.

Praying

to the eyes of people

I may never meet, never know.

My prayers are

keystrokes, words,

etched onto paper,

etched onto my heart.

 

Change

One day she looked in the mirror and

decided she was done.

Restricted by the expectations of

someone not meant to fit in.

Suffocated by the lies of

those who “only mean well”.

Crushed by the “love” of

people not equipped to give it.

Burned by the fire in

other people’s eyes.

Defeated by the standards placed upon her by

those who don’t even know her name.

So she changed,

evolved,

rearranged.

Change is oh so sweet,

oh so necessary.

 

Nature Walks

The trees reach out their arms to guide you,

gently along your path.

And once you get going,

there is no going back.

There’s a whisper humming through the foliage

luring you farther in.

And once you see it,

you can’t unsee it and

your love with nature begins.

There’s something about standing on something

that was here, way before you were.

Something about staring at a sun,

that sets your life alight.

Something about the silence,

so far away from a highway.

So get lost,

breathe it in.

This is just the beginning.

Chameleon in a Candy Store Review

Hey guys,

So I’m back with another book recommendation/review, it’s been a while since I actually posted about a book but this one is 10/10 worth the read.

So for a little background, within the past year, I stumbled across a book called “Diary of an Oxygen Thief” by Anonymous (yes, the author is anonymous). The book was raw, vulgar, surprising, and just about everything you wouldn’t expect from a book. Nevertheless, it was amazing.

SO now that brings me to the second book I picked up by Anonymous entitled “Chameleon In A Candy Store”. Back again with vulgar, surprise and anonymity, Anonymous does it again. He writes in such a way that you want to hate him but can’t help but identify with him just a little bit as the lead character (Anonymous) makes his way through the world of online dating, meeting people in real life, and dealing with all the issues that come along with dealing with people.

The fact that the author remains anonymous is really just a nice bow on the entire book. Anonymity gives us the power to write exactly what we feel and think with little to no judgement. While plenty of other reviews judge the womanizing ways of our Anonymous writer, suggest extensive therapy and other various “treatment” methods, it is highly probable that these don’t directly affect the author, mostly because nobody knows who he is. For example, you could quite literally walk by this author and never know who you’re walking past.

Anyway, back to this book. Anonymous writes the way that we all think, sometimes. Have you ever been on a disaster date, had a one night stand, a problem with alcohol, addictions, sex, love, hate? If you answered yes or nodded your head to any of these options, this book is for you. Anonymous battles his own demons while openly writing about the chaos he brings to women’s lives. He openly writes about his sexual escapades while also writing about how much he hates someone, loves someone, or how much he hates or loves himself.

What makes this book particularly interesting is that our Anonymous does not hold back. As I said, this really is a vulgar book, which adds to the overall appeal of the book. This isn’t a love story with a happily ever after, this is real life. You fall in love and they rip your heart out. Or you don’t want to fall in love so you sabotage any relationship you may have with someone special. Either way, Anonymous is open and honest about it, which in an age where we have shady government officials and various other means of being lied to, honesty is a welcome change.

I would 10/10 recommend this book and “Diary of an Oxygen Thief” to anyone looking for an honest and surprising read. Pick this up on Amazon (where I picked both my copies up), your local Barnes and Noble, Kindle, and iBook! And keep a look out for the next book, “Eunuchs and Nymphomaniacs”, the third installment in the Oxygen Thief Diaries! Be sure to check out his website, linked above, and follow him on Instagram @ o2thief! You’ll be glad you did.

Feel free to leave some comments below if you’ve read any of these books and want to start a conversation! Happy reading!

Write your Story

Being an editor and a writer has taught me some of the most valuable lessons I’ve ever learned. It’s also taught me a lot about myself and my own personal writing. So for anyone who is hesitant about sharing their¬†writing or too afraid, nervous, plagued with fear of rejection, etc. this one is for you.

Write that story.

Don’t just write that story, write your story. So some guy broke your heart? Write about it. You have every right to feel what you feel, whether it’s from an experience, good or bad, healthy or not. Don’t let anybody tell you to tone yourself down or share less about your own personal business.

You are a writer.

Whether you scribble something down in the margin of your notebook or write online for the world to see, you’re a writer. If you write, you’re a writer. Don’t let people tell you that you aren’t a writer just because you aren’t published. I write for a publication but I’ve also been a writer since I was little. To be fair, I used to write short stories on those lined paper pages you use in grade school to learn how to write in script. At the age of 7, I was a writer.

Write your heart out.

Writing is probably the best and cheapest form of therapy there is. It’s just you and a blank sheet of paper with endless possibilities and there is something really therapeutic about that concept. Write for yourself. Not for views, shares, likes, audience numbers…Your best pieces will come from this deep, dark place inside of you that few will ever venture to.

And lastly, if you love it, do it.

This applies to a lot of things in life. But we’re talking about writing here. If you love to write, don’t ever stop writing. Who cares if it isn’t your career goal to be an author? Or maybe it is and everyone feels the need to tell you that “writers never make money”…it’s your life and you only get one. Live it doing something that you’re passionate about.

Persuasion

Soft whispers tugging at the corner of eager eyes.

Gnarled fingers running through tousled hair.

Rough hands wiping away tears, staining her face.

“I love you”

The only thing she needed to hear in the midst of silence.

The three words to stop her,

dead in her tracks.

Words that don’t quite match up to actions,

Actions that don’t quite match up to the words.

A cacophony of lies litter the floor like broken glass

Stabbing the remnants of a love gone wrong.